Pot is still pot

I am a 15 year old competitive downhill skier and I am aiming to be on the junior nation team by next year. I train really hard and I also have school responsibilities and sometimes I find that it gets to be a bit heavy and hard to manage. I find that smoking a little joint most nights helps me to feel a lot more relaxed about things and it gives me a little break to look forward to at the end of the long day.

One of the junior coaches caught me toking last weekend at a training camp and he asked me how often I smoked and he freaked on me when I told him I smoked most nights and he threatened to tell the head coaches unless I agreed to stop. I said I would, but I am not sure I really want to give up the only thing that keeps me from losing my mind.

I guess I understand how smoking even a small amount every night could hurt my lung capacity and my performance , but what if I switched to eating pot brownies? Would that have any impact on my performance? If I ate a pot brownie most nights but made sure to stop for a couple days before races, how could that hurt me at all?