Can I manage my marijuana use or do I have to choose?

I don't have any solutions I'm afraid.

If managing it isn't working out, either because you can't smoke at work or you can't control your use as well as you'd like, you are facing a choice. Perhaps it won't pan out the way you think though?

You say you have to use weed to engage with your music, but that isn't necessarily true. Certainly it enables you to do so, and certainly you haven't found an alternative way, but that doesn't mean there isn't one, so I think you are setting up a false choice for yourself: music/passion or family.

I suggest you do some research and see how other musicians seek creative inspiration. There are lots of ways. I'm not an expert, but I recall Brian Eno and David Bowie coming up with all sorts of interesting (and fun sounding) ways to tap into their creativity, and I'm sure other musicians and creatives have as many ways of engaging and connecting with their passion too.

I hope that gives you something to consider, and maybe a way forward that isn't such a stark and difficult choice. Creativity is about always staying open to what you don't yet know, haven't seen or realised, so hopefully it will help.

I remind myself of this in any situation where I'm trying to work something out by adding a few words to the end of my conclusion: "and then there's factor X"

Its great that you want to be a good dad and care about your family and relationships :-)

Good luck,

Mark