Getting Past a Terrible Breakup

My finance and I had been together for 10 years and were a few months away from scheduled marriage when she announced that she had met someone else and was leaving me. It was a total bombshell. I didn’t see it coming and it just ruined me.

That was about 9 months ago, and every day I still feel the same pain I felt on that first day. I can’t get over it. I just stay home and think about her all the time. I’ve still got her pictures up all over the apartment, and I now it’s not healthy but I can’t bring myself to take them down.

I no longer go out socially with friends because I don’t enjoy it and they don’t understand what I’m going through. At first they did, but now, they all think I should be getting over it – but I am not all and now I just get so angry when they ask about it and about how they don’t get it.

I work a dead end job because my music is my passion, but since she left, I can’t even play. I have tried so many times to get her to come back and I am always wondering what I did wrong to drive her away.

I know I need to let go, but I just can’t because if I don’t have pain with her then I have nothing with her, and that just seems worse.

What can I do to get out of this hole I’m in? If this is life for me, then it isn’t worth living.