Pornography Addiction
I do not know what to do. I love him and I beleive that he is trying to change and I want to support him, but based on the evidence I am not sure if he ever can. What I really want to know is if he cannot control his urges to look at porn will he also not be able to control his urges to have sex with another woman if the opportunity ever presents - or is this a separate thing. I do not really understand sex addiction. Can a person be just a porn addict or are they a sex addict and that also looks at porn? I guess I am fortunate that our physical relationship is still OK and the porn has not affected his desire to be with me physically.
Dr. Lani Chin Says...
It sounds like you are going through a tough time with your partner. Based on what you've said about your fiancee, it seems like he is needing more intensive therapy. I would recommend a sex therapist or someone that specializes in sex addiction. Although most treatments can show an immediate decrease in behavior, it is not atypical for previous behaviors to crop up later.
I would also recommend couples therapy so that you can communicate to your partner how his addiction is affecting your relationship. Although you say your "physical relationship is OK," I can hear the pain in what you're describing and couples therapy could help for you two to work on rebuilding the emotional intimacy in your lives.
I don't know your partner so I cannot tell if he is "just a porn addict or a sex addict that also looks at porn." Again, more intensive individual therapy for your partner plus couples therapy for the both of you could help to sort this out. If you are in the Los Angeles area, I would be happy to help you talk about how this is affecting you: www.drlanichin.com. Good luck.
Page last updated Aug 13, 2012