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Being Confused feels better than being Hurt

answered 08:09 AM EST, Mon September 09, 2013

-- filed under: Affected Others | alcoholism

wws Edinburgh

My AH and I are separated, he tells me he does not love me to meet someone else, then he texes he is sorry etc then I find out he is sleeping with 3 women and has lots more on his secret phone. We were together 25 years and split for 8 months he has lost everything in 8 months me, kids our home, business his lies are out of control hardly works now is always depressed. Why all these women? when he is trying to get home to me. I am so confused by the women

Jim LaPierre Says...

J. LaPierre

LCSW, CCS

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Thank you for writing. I'm so sorry to hear that your husband is in this downward spiral. Very good women often tell me that they are "confused" when in fact there's nothing confusing and everything is simply hurtful. Active alcoholics tend to be self centered and very immature emotionally. Your husband is behaving childishly and seeking lots of immediate gratification. Unfortunately, he also wants to retain you as a back up plan (alcoholics always have a back up option). Sometimes the cliches - even when they become Fcebook memes still hold true "Never make someone a priority who treats you as an option."

I'm not saying walk away permanently. I am saying walk away - at least until there is a lot of evidence that he is sober and willing to make a lot of changes. It's time to take care of you. Blessed be.

Being Confused feels better than being Hurt

Jim LaPierre Says...

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